Willie: Hey.
What's up?
Marty: Nothing.
Willie: Who's the guy?
Marty: Andrew Willis. He's in my class.
Willie: Oh. He your boyfriend?
Marty: I don't know. I guess. He's OK.
Willie: He seemed a little short.
Marty: He's 12 years old, Willie.
Willie: Oh, right.
So, he's not really... Right.
Marty: Are you OK?
Willie: Yeah. Yeah, I'm... Why?
Marty: You seem a little flavoured today.
Willie: No! No, I'm cool.
Marty: Cool.
Willie: Yeah.
So, tell me something.
What do you kids...?
What is it you do, kids your age,
on the weekend?
Marty: Well, what we've been doing lately
is smoking massive amounts of drugs,
binging on Entenmanns
and listening to Pink Floyd.
Willie: Really?
Marty: You are flavoured today.
Willie: Oh, you're kidding?
Marty: The Entenmanns part was true.
Willie: Oh. Wow.
So... you like this guy Andrew?
Marty: He's OK. He's into male contraception
which is nice for a change.
Joking.
You really got to chill, Will.
Willie: Right. Right.
Marty: I'm gonna go inside.
You sure you're OK?
Willie: I'll be OK.
Marty: Good.
Willie: Hey, Marty!
Marty: Yes?
Willie: Ah, forgot what I was going to say.
See you around.
Marty: Bye.
**************************************
Willie: All I'm saying is
you have this amazing thing,
you got his person with all
that potential, all that future...
This girl... is gonna be amazing.
She's smart,
she's funny... she's hot...
Mo': She's 13!
Willie: I know. Get over it.
It's not a sexual thing. This is...
I could wait.
Mo': What?
Willie: In ten years, she'll be 23,
I'll be 39, it won't be a big deal.
Mo': Willie... you're scaring me here.
Willie: This girl is gonna be amazing.
Mo': Great.
Willie: I was actually jealous
of this little kid on a bike,
this short little kid on a bike,
cos he gets to be her age now.
I get to be some vile old man,
like... What's his name?
Mo': Roman Polanski.
Willie: No, like... Nabokov.
Like some Nabokov character.
Like some old fat, hairy, fat,
stinky, putrid man.
And...
I don't know. You just want to say
to her in all sincerity,
"Take me with you when you go."
Mo': Willie, the girl was a zygote
when you were in the seventh grade.
Willie: So what? What are you saying?
That this is my way
of postponing the inevitable?
My way of saying
I don't wanna grow old?
Mo': No, I think it's your way
of saying you don't want to grow up.
Willie: I just want something beautiful.
Mo': We all want something beautiful.
Willie: Hey!
Marty: What the heck are you doing here?
Willie: My friends are ice fishing
in the shack over there.
Marty: Those guys are your friends?
Willie: You know 'em?
Marty: They're here every Sunday.
We call them the Drunken Dry-heavin'
Cheese-eatin' Outhouse Boys.
They're your friends?
Willie: They're acquaintances, really.
Marty: Right.
Willie: So, where's Scooter?
Marty: Who?
Willie: What's his name? Billy? Tiger?
Pookie? The kid on the bike?
Marty: Andrew?
Willie: Andrew, that's it. Where is he?
Marty: He dorked out on me.
I'm not into him any more.
Willie: Ah. So you got someone new?
Marty: Yep. You!
Willie: What?
Marty: You. You're my new boyfriend.
You up to it?
Oh, I feel faint!
Marty: My hero.
So you gonna marry that girl in NYC?
Willie: I don't know. Why?
Marty: I don't think you should.
Willie: How come?
Marty: You should wait until
you meet someone who excites you.
Willie: Well, she may not be out there.
Marty: It's like the Wizard of Oz.
It was in your own backyard.
Willie: What do you mean?
Marty: You. Me and you.
Willie: Really?
Marty: Yep. You don't think?
Willie: Well, we have a little age problem.
Marty: I know. We're as star-crossed
as Romeo and Juliet.
It's a tragedy
of Elizabethan proportions.
Willie: "What light
through yonder window breaks?
"Tis the east
and Juliet is the sun."
Weird.
Marty: No way.
Willie: So, um... So what do we do?
Marty: Alas, poor Romeo, we can't do diddly.
You'll go to penitentiary,
I'll be the laughing stock
of the Brownies.
But if your feelings for me are true,
you'll wait.
Wait?
Marty: Yep. Wait 5 years.
I'll be 18 and we can walk
through this world together.
Willie: In 5 years you won't remember me.
Marty: William.
Willie: I'm formed and you're not.
You have changes to go through.
You'll change.
And I'll be Winnie The Pooh
to your Christopher Robin.
Marty: No literary reference left unturned.
How do you figure Pooh?
Willie: Christopher Robin outgrew Pooh.
That's how it ended.
He had Pooh when he was a child.
When he matured,
he didn't need him any more.
Marty: That's the saddest thing
I ever heard.
Willie: Yeah, but it's true.
You don't realise it now,
but you'll be doing some changing.
And...
I can't be a Pooh.
Marty: I think I'll skate away now, Pooh.
Willie: All right, Christopher.
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